Tortured Mind
by Tylah-Jane
Summary: A 16-year old Renesmee is raped. She can't tell anyone the thought of their judgement practically makes her scream. Her family thinks that it is just a phase but Jacob sees through her and is determined to find the truth. But can Nessie open up?
1. Chapter 1

**Renesmee's POV**

No one to go to. No one I can tell. I keep asking myself why this had to happen to me. I was half vampire why couldn't I fight this off?. If my family ever found out they would be ashamed . With the best bringing up I could possibly have. The strongest most supportive family and friends ever. This would be with me forever. Eternity. I but the pillow to my mouth , tears running down my cheeks and screamed . The feeling inside of me one of guilt and regret. The feeling kept bubbling to the surface. I couldn't get the thought that I was ... was raped out of my head. Like it was on a timer every 10 minutes i would think about it again. It was slowly tearing me to shreds. It would be better to just tell my parents or even Jacob he was my best friend we were used to telling each other everything.

I think my family sensed that something was up especially Jacob because I had been distancing myself so much from the judgement I would face if they were to find out. My father would well i hope I never have to find out. I was glad at this moment in large room which was part of a huge mansion in Portland, Oregon that I was able to keep my thoughts to myself because from the appearance of a five-year old of five my family had found at that i had also developed my mothers talent and able to shield myself and for that I am sincerely grateful.

I was getting myself in preparation to sleep over at Jacob's this weekend. He had a house that Esme had built him about 30 km from us. I figured if I broke down now i could keep myself in together. Lately it was easier to stay together when in the presence of Jacob . I felt closer to him even though we had always been best friends. I couldn't think about having deeper feelings for him. I didn't deserve him even if that was a possibility . I was broken and scared.

What HE had done to me. I wish that HE would die. I had to try to hold myself together. At school HE would taunt me in the hall way. I was reminded of HIM every waking minute. I hated HIM more that anyone in the whole world.

**Jacob's POV**

I used to think I absolutely knew everything about my Nessie. She used to tell me everything but that all stopped when she meet her now ex-boyfriend TJ. I mentally spit at the name. It had been a month since she broke up with him and she had never been the same. I tried talking to Bella and Edward about it but they thing she is just going threw a typical 16-year old girl phase. I think it is something more though. I saw a similar face in Bella when Edward had left her . But Nessie's face is full of a pain that I have only scence , in a much lower degree on Sam's face when he thinks of Leah. But Nessie just didn't look there same everything in my core said she was hiding something and I knew it was my job to get it out o her.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the smell of Nessie possessed me. I had to keep a hold of myself it wasn't the right time to think about how totally drawn I am to her right now it was time to be a protecter, someone to talk to her.

**Renesmee's POV**

I took a deep breathe cleared my head and knocked on the door. Jacob opened the door with a concerned expression on his face . He than took my bag and gave me a big hug. I stayed immersed in this moment.I felt almost whole I almost forgot about HIM .

"Hey Jacob. It's good to see you" I said but the end of the sentence came out choked.

"I've missed you bub it's been three days. How was school yesterday?." I froze lucky we were still in the hug and he couldn't see my expression. The feeling and memory came to the surface. Yesterday HE had walked passed me in the hallway. HE had asked me if I remembered the night that HE had raped me. HE remembered too.

"School was fine." He must of picked up on the lie in my unconvincing voice because he shot a glance it me that said sure it was.

"Lets go for a walk" I just nodded at Jacob's words. He placed his hand in mine. Normally I wouldn't let anyone touch now me but my family. Jacob was an exception. His touch didn't sent a jolt of fear and horrid memories into my veins like other males . His touch felt right well his hugs and when he holds my hand. I don't think I could go further than that even if he was my more than best friend.

"Ness, I want you to know that I am absolutely here for you." What did he know. I know he was trying to get something out of me.

"Jake your my best friend." This really didn't have anything that is relevant to what he told me but I was trying to avoid any questions that I could see bubbling on his lips.

"I am better than your best friend Ness . I know you may not be able to tell a best friend everything but you can certainly tell soul mate." What did he mean what was he getting at.? Than in absolute surprise Jacob kissed me.I couldn't handle this I couldn't handle being with Jake if he knew what I had done . I didn't deserve him. I got up tear streaming down my face

"I can't Jake.... .I j-j-just can't I spluttered and ran. I knew that Jacob would blame his self for my reaction. But it's better than him knowing the truth. I just kept running. Jacob didn't follow.

**Jacob's POV**

Dammit Jake. Dammit, dammit, did you do that?. I was coming to the realization that i might have just completely ruined my relationship with Nessie. I just thought that maybe she might open up if I was closer to her. I was so wrong. I better give her space. She probably doesn't even like me and I have just ruined the friendship.

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	2. Chapter 2

Jacob's POV

I had to go and find my wasn't her normal behavior. Maybe she doesn't love me back but she would never run away crying, she would simply tell me . I figured that she had had enough time on her own. I started running towards the forest following the trail that Nessie had left. I found her there in a small opening curled in a fetal position. I could here her crying and it ripped through me.

"Nessie" I stood back afraid that if I approached her she would go into hysterics. "Nessie, it's ok if... if you don't love me I don't mind I.. I just don't want to lose our friendship because... well you mean a lot to me and..." Nessie began to look up slowly. Her eyes in complete and utter pain. " Nessie, you've been acting so different lately and ... it's not like you. I am here for you... you know that don't you? I just wish that you would open up to me .

"Please Jacob, just understand that I know you are here and I do love you but..."

she was sitting up right now and i knelt down so that I was at her eye level. The realization that she did love me hit me and I should be overwhelmed right now but I couldn't be something in her devastating facial expression had me complete concentration.

"I... I don't deserve you Jacob some- something happened that-" I couldn't take her pain I took her in my arms like a child and held her in my lap' I knew that she couldn't take much more and although I desperately wanted to know what happened to her I had to put her first she was my imprint.

I set Nessie across from me so that we were facing each other fairly close. Here eyes showed so much pain and guilt that it was amplified in my own emotions.

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Renesmee POV

I felt stupid. Here I was crying my whole heart out to the one I loved. I stood up and wiped the tears from my eyes. I cleared all the emotion in my voice before I spoke.

"Look Jacob, I need to go home I need to have a shower I need a little time alone to just think. You can come by later but until then bye."

I gave him a little nod before I ran full speed to the main house. It wasn't a to long of a run from jacob's house plus with age I was getting faster. When I got in the door the whole family was sitting at the dinning table I guess they didn't hear me coming again I thanked whatever it was that gave me the gift to protect my thought as well .

My family , seeing me all got up in a flash and went in various directions; It should bother me that they were having a private meeting but my emotions were in other places. I went up to my second room which was my dads old room and lay on the bed. What was I s'possed to tell Jake? He obviously knew that something was up after my mini breakdown and I know my family suspected something. I was sick of thinking I jumped up and went to the bathroom.

The hot water cleared my head though never washing away the guilt. I knew that soon I was about to confess what had been picking at me for two months now, to Jake. I didn't want to think about his reaction I just knew that I needed to tell he what happened me so that he would waist his time loving someone used and broken.

After blowdrying my hair and getting changes into jeans and one of jakes hoddies I had received almost a year ago, which felt like a different time. I heard a knock on my door. It was Jacob, I could tell so I took a deep breathe and got up from my bed and opened the bedroom door.

"Hey Jake, could we go out, mean away from hear." Jake face was concerned put also in agreement .I walked right beside him our shoulders touching, downstairs and out the door then we broke into a sprint he seemed to be leading I knew where we were going our tree.

He stopped when we got there and i went to sit on one of the long tree root at least a foot of the ground. Jacob sat directly opposite about a metre away. I took a deep breath and began.

"Jake do you remember two months ago, when I went to Tess' party?" I said this trying to keep my voice even.

"Yea..."

"Well , something happened at that party and..." Jake was very patient and for that I was grateful. I knew he could tell that I was on edge.

" There was a guy there from my school. I was trying to get my mind of you which was now I know unnecessary. his name was TJ and he seemed nice to old maybe but a distraction. I didn't notice him leading me upstairs until... he looked the door. He held me down and I didn't now what was going on I screamed but... he hurt me and.... " Jakes face was full of disgust I knew I should have told him. He was judging me.

"I am sorry Jake, I could stop him. Pleas don't hate me..." I was desperately trying not to lose it but the thought of losing Jake wasn't bearable. " I am so sorry that I bother telling you Jake I just thought you could help that you could understand." I stood up my head looking to the ground. I began to run away holding back tear . The back o my throught was burning it was so hard to swallow.

How much could I take? mistake after mistake. Just then Jake caught me ruffly I didn't expect it but I was grateful. "Nessie why...didn't you tell me... earlier" his hands were on each side of my face holding me tight.

"I just it's my fault and I knew you would get so mad and wouldn't want me."

"I am just angry at TJ and when I get my hands on HIM he will be dead". We were talking as were sprinting back to the cottage and before I knew .

"Can we discuss that later, could you just stay with me now."

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	3. Chapter 3

**Jacob's POV**

My girl, my Nessie sat there on the end of the bed in from what I knew was Edwards old room. The house that Esme had built again it Poland looked creepily similar to the one in forks but I wasn't going to let my mind drift to trivial facts. Right now I was all about Nessie. She was me and without her I would not exist or rather would exist empty. She was hurting she was emotional and physically traumatized and she wanted to talk to me.

How was I supposed to know what to do in this situation. I didn't one little bit understand the workings of a teenage mind. I didn't know what it was like for a girl to get rapped I didn't know anything.I knew though, that I had to at least try and as soon as I knew that Nessie was alright I was going to go after this TJ kid. I started shaking convulsively. Nessie was looking at me real weird like she was... afraid of me. Pull yourself together Jake I said to myself, you have to for Nessie's sake.

I went and I sat on the end of the bed Nessie is it appeared reflexively moved back to the head of the bed. I turned around to face her, crossed my legs and decided to giver her a good meter and a half of thinking space.

"Nessie, what he did to you, it well it wasn't your fault. You know that don't you?"."I am sorry I couldn't be there for you but I don't want you to be upset on something that your clearly couldn't of helped." I said this and her head lifted she appeared to be absolutely fine though she didn't have a smile on her face. But I knew her better than that. She took a deep breathe.

"I well I sorta know it ... wasn't my fault but I should have been able to stop him I was just in shock and I well then he was hurting me and I froze up." She was letting the emotion seep out in her voice.

"It's just that well, when he did that to me I lost a part of my self my well ,virtue that I was saving for someone special. Someone like you. I wanted you to be the one to ..." she trailed off I guessed she was embarrassed.

Nessie really was saving that for me? She thought of me like that? I was hurt... That TJ took something that should have been mine. He took the Virginity of my girl. I felt the heat rising through me again and I began to shake but then i got a hold of myself. This was selfish of me what must Nessie be thinking I don't know how I could think about myself in this situation. I gathered my thoughts and saved my anger for later know just focusing on Nessie.

"Look Nessie , I hate everything he did to you I hate him probably more than you can even imagine. But when that moment comes, if that moment comes for us I will be the one to take your virtue if you want me too because you virtue doesn't have to be physical and I'll think of it as your first time. It will be our first time."

"It won't be the same and Jake I love you but you deserve better than a sixteen year old slut. I just, you and me can't be because i will always know that there will be a better off with a, non emotionally and physically damaged virgin girl who isn't broken." She looked down ashamed.

"Look Ness I don't want to start going all corny on you are my everything my imprint not a slut and as long as I am..." My words just seemed to hurt her more.

"Get out please just go! Stop trying to make it worse I know what that you think was done to me wasn't my fault and that I can still have my virtue but I CAN'T! I will never get it back I will never be the same stop trying to make me feel better and LEAVE!" She screamed as she pointed to the door. I had no choice.

I turned around and slowly walked out of the door. I could kill HIM. I could rip him into SHREDS. I could easily kill the human but what I couldn't do is what I wanted to do the most. Help Nessie. So I knew what I had to do. I had to tell the Cullen's.

I walked into the dinning room. Renesmee had just left the house she said she "needed to go for a walk to 'cool off'.

"Cullen's" I spoke in a loud voice some of them were near by hunting in the darkness,I knew they could here me now they had all spread far to give me and Nessie some privacy. t "We need to talk about Renesmee." within a flash they were all sitting around in various spots. I took a seat truly feeling exhausted with the news that today had presented.

"I am sure you are all aware that Renesme has been acting differently the last month." I started to explain but was interrupted.

"And like we said it it just a normal teen behavior." Edward spoke smoothly but a little annoyed.

" I mean she is bound to be upset about her first break up even if she barley knew the boy." Esme interjected in her motherly voice.

"Let me speak!" I almost yelled feeling about rude but also not being able to contain the anger of earlier.

"HE , well TJ for that fact was not her boyfriend he rapped her. She is completely traumatized and after a month only decided to speak to me about it yesterday. I can't get through to her. I don't understand the complex workings of her and I don't wont to hurt her any further." The Cullen's were silent for a moment shock in there eyes which soon changed to anger.

"THAT BASTARD!". Roared Emmet.

"HOW DARE HE TOUCH HER." Jasper shouted a second later

"That poor poor girl." rose whispered in pain.

"HE MUST PAY!" Edward spoke completely defensive. The rest of the family members looked as if they were going to cry.

"CALM DOWN." Carlise said. "We must first speak to Nessie everybody just get a grip."

"Where did she go?" Bella asked clearly about to break out into dry sobs .

"She.. needed some space I tried to comfort her but that made her more angry."

"Than we will wait." Esme spoke and everyone agreed though from there faces everyone had a lot to say.

**Renesmee POV **

Finally getting away from Jacob, feeling awful doing so, I was going to do what I should have done all along. I needed to to this for myself. It was the only way I could keep sane.

I needed to confront TJ.

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**N****ext Chapter**

What will happen when Renesmee confronts TJ will history repeat itself. With Jacob be there this time or has Nessie just lost her mind?

What will Nessies' family of protects do? How will she cope with them finding out?


	4. Chapter 4

Renesmee's POV

I was running, my feet barely touching the ground to find HIM. To end the life of the boy who destroyed mine. I ran towards his normal hang out spot, behind a rundown gas station just out of the town centre. I knew he would be there with his two sidekicks who were just as dirty as him, they followed him around just to get some.I am glad they weren't there that night... the thought pulled me up short but than only fueled my anger and I knew I was getting closer the smell of petrol surrounding the air.

I could here them now, in the distance, laughing their pig headed laughs. It was only a matter of time before I reached him, I knew I could take him and his hideous sidekicks because I knew what I would gain by letting his death happen, I could get revenge.

"Oh look who's here" TJ's voice made me flinch but ignited something in me." come back for seconds have we well, it's been a couple of months what kept you away baby." Him, calling that made me taste the vile that was swimming in my mouth I swung at his jaw, I heard the crack and the two boys stepped up to defend him.

"It's ok boys" He spoke in a calm voice but with an angry undertone. "I can take her, like I did the last time, do you remember that my Nessie, I sure do" That sent chills down my spine and again like the first time i felt like a child, defenseless, I was starting to regret the choice that was to come here.

"Oh sweet, Nessie how I have longed to have you again, you were one of the more... pleasurable experiences I have had with, girls and I think we should do it again..." He spoke getting more confident as he took in my facial expression, one of most utter despair. "Perhaps we should go some were a little more private... " "Boy's I am sure you would like to join in this time, grab a hold of her an bring her to the car, I know the perfect place..."

"NOOO! " I screamed and cried as the two boys, who looked more like men grabbed my arm. "Don't do this to me not again ple..please." My legs kicked and tossed about as they all but dragged me , along the dirt and gravel ground to were TJ's shinny new car was.

"Oh shut up Nessie you are the one who came looking for it ." I should have brought someone with me I should of brought anyone right know, as they dragged me into the car I could help thing about what was going to happen to me and, what Jacob would think.

In the next moment, as the boys were pushing me into the car TJ came behind them and I managed to break free, I ran towards TJ thought he was only five metres away and hit him in the stomach as hard as my half vampire strength aloud and he was on the floor gasping for air, much to my pleasure I kicked him in the side of his stomach but unexpectedly I got a blow from behind, in the back of my head, it was one of his friend, I fell to the ground slipping further and further into unconsciousness.

I woke up , with a massive head-ache as I put my head to the spot of the pain a felt dried blood and was wrenched into remembering what had happened before I was unconscious, I was in a room well more like a basement really it was quite small with cement floor and walls, no windows or furniture just the mat I was lying on and a wooden door. I let out a scream of anger " AAAAAARRRGRHHHHHHHHH!" and heard people approaching.

"Looks like it has woken up, are you ready to have fun boys?" I heard TJ's voice as the door rattled though it did sound weaker. I was in my personal hell and the door knob to the beginning was opening...

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Jacob's POV

"Bella, Edward it has been an hour Nessie isn't back yet" I spoke my voice full of concern.

"Giver her a time Jacob she has been through so much, and don't worry we will do want needs to be done when she is back" Edward said this in a calm voice while Bella looked as if she was about to cry, I knew this was killing Edward too. "My family is already planning and Carlisle is phoning some of the best psychiatrists he knows. Just let her clear her head , she will be pretty overwhelmed when she gets back and we want to give her as much time as possible.

"I want to talk to her first make her aware of.. the situation so I am going to find her, I will be back when she is ready". I ran out of the Cullen's house and into the forest I didn't bother to get un-dressed and just went wolf.

"Jake, where have you been" Leah and Seth spoke but then, after hearing my thoughts went into complete silence. Thankfully it was only them to on tonight, I couldn't deal with the whole pack knowing and I don't think that there is much more Nessie could deal with either.

"Poor girl..." Seth thought "She must be going through so much...".

"I swear I could kill this TJ kid" Leah thought.

"Don't worry Leah thats being dealt with" I said anger and sadness radiating in my head. "Seth, I need to talk to Leah for a moment, can you give as a minute."

"Sure Jake anything to help, tell Ness I am here for her , we all are..." Seth left with that I was thankful that he was so understanding, I needed that now.

"Jake, I am really sorry..." Leah started but I interrupted.

"Leah, she won't talk to me anymore, she thinks she doesn't deserve me and she wanted to save her self for me and than this happened and I don't know what to do, You are the closes thing to a human female teenager that I know I need help Leah.

"Jake, I wouldn't know the first thing about... what Nessie is going through, But I do know that I would be feeling exactly the same we if I were in her position, I think that you need to show her how much you do love her, your really need to show her Jake..."

"Well I have to find her. thank-you Leah, for everything. Can I have some time to think, own my own?"

"Sure Jake any time, this must be tough, tell Nessie she can come and talk to me any time she needs"

"I will" I said and thought of my next plan of action.

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	5. Chapter 5

Renesmee's POV 

As I lied there waiting... waiting for the hell that was behind the door, something just ticked in me, some bomb that was ignited by a combination of fear, anger and... and desire, desire to kill, desire for there _blood._ I stood up , the injures forgotten though dully , in the back of my mind it was very painful. I felt empowered, suddenly in charge of my future and though I had been defeated, I wasn't going to let it happen again, The door opened to the three boys, though they each had a weapon in there hand which scared me a little, but with my new found strength I knew I could take them on.

"Nessie?, h- how... y-our eyes a-re red?" TJ spoke this with fear present in his eyes which pleased me greatly, the boys and TJ came into the basement holding pipes and bats.

"Now Ness baby, we can do this the easy way or the hard why your choice?" TJ spoke this calmly and with more confidence.

"Speak for your self." I growled and leaped at TJ, he was underestimating me after all how was he to know that I had finally embraced the vampire in me. I leaped at him latching onto his neck and with one quick rip his his half detached neck and body feel to the floor and began to _drink_ .This made me feel powerful the taste was absolutely desirable I had to keep going.

I was so focused on _drinking_ him, that I didn't notice the two boys coming behind me to defend TJ. I felt two blows, one in the back of my head and one in the middle of my back. I felt blood trickle down the back of my head but it didn't bother me because the vampire in me just got angrier and angrier I turned around and snapped the neck of one of the boys and he fell to the ground.

Only one of the boys were left standing, I could still here TJ breathing on the floor. The last boy, with the steel pipe in his hand tried to defend himself but I guess I was just to strong for him, with a quick blow to his head he was on the floor. I made sure that TJ and his friends where all dead before I buried them in the woods. I cleaned up everything in the basement before I walked out of that old and what appeared to be abandoned house.

I was wondering where my family thought I was, I mean how long had I been gone for?. I could feel the morning coming on I began to make my way back home feeling triumphant but vamp and all, really took it out of my and my head because head was pulsating. Than suddenly the events of this night caught up with me and before I knew it my head way hitting the ground and blackness filled my mind.

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Jacob's POV**

I had been walking in human form for hours now. I needed thing on my own but I also needed to find Nessie after all how long did she need on her own anyway? I was following her scent but just found myself walking in never ending circles. I walked through the woods and smelt moved earth. Which wasn't unusual for the amount of animals in forks but still seemed different.

I was searching for an opening when I picked up on the sent of blood. Normal I would ignore such a sent but this blood was different and the sweet scent reminded me of Nessie. I speed up at this though looking to track the sent and to my astonished eyes I found Nessie at the fringe of the woods lying there unconscious, dry blood on her Scull

"Nessie, Nessie can you hear me? Nessie pleas wake up." I said this in a panicked voice and she still didn't regain consciousness.

"Who could do such a thing a thing to my girl, to my everything." A tear ran down my cheek seeing Nessie like that, helpless and unmoving it absolutely killed me, I sucked it up and picked Nessie up in mu arms. I began running, I knew that Carlisle could help her.

"I am sorry Nessie..." I whispered, almost at the Cullen's.

I broke through the door yelling. "Help! Carlisle, Edward Help! Nessie is hurt." Within an Instant Carlisle, Esme, Bella and Edward were in front of me there eyes looked as if the were being tortured. I presumed the others were hunting. This way Carlisle instructed and I knew e was directing me to his practice that was built onto the house but I was to concerned to think of much but me Ness.

When I entered the private room in his practice I ever so gently laid Nessie down onto the bed which looked much like a hospital bed. Carlisle began to work over her while Edward began to drill me.

"Who did this to her? Where did you find her? How could this happen to my only daughter? What else did they do to her? Was it that TJ guy?" Edward Spit the question out but then fell silent expecting me to ask what I thought would be a never ending stream of questions.

"I found her in the woods 19 k's from here. I don't know who could of done this and I don't know much else but that who ever done this deserves to die. Will die.

Nessie's head began to move and her finger twitch. Edward, Bella and I were all standing towards the edge of the room are Carlisle came around to face Nessie who's eyes began to flutter.

"Jaaakke..."When she Spoke those words my heart almost burst for two reasons. One she was thinking of me and two her voice revealed the amount of pain she was in.

Edward stepped closer to Nessie though she wasn't very respondent still drowsy I guessed "What happened Nessie? who did this to you?" I was about to scold Edward for asking her so many questions when she was barely conscious but a tear ran down her cheek which distracted me.

"I... I don't know..." Nessie was lying on her side confused she seemed sad that she couldn't tell as anything. I was hoping at this moment that Edward wouldn't bring up the recent discussion of what TJ did to Nessie and in my peripheral I saw Edward nod. Thank-god he could read my mind. My attention went back to Nessie who was being checked up on by Carlisle.

"Renesmee, how many fingers am I holding up?" Carlisle sounded very professional.

"Four?" Nessie said in a pained whisper, than slowly she asked " Carlisle I... I can't feel anything...below my hips... w-why?". Carlise went around to her back and lifted the back of Nessie's shirt up and gasped, which was unusual for the normal calm and collected Carlisle everybody normally saw.

"It appears that you have some back injures, I think that it expends up your back and there are heavy eternal wounds. They are similar injures tot he ones on you head, I mean in size and depth." Carlisle began explaining, Nessie's face looked rather empty Edward and Bella looked extremely concerned. " I am going to have to remove Nessie's shirt to examine the full extent so if you don't mind stepping out of the room to giver her some privacy that would be helpful.

Both Bella and Edward walked up to a now shaking Nessie, her upper body was quivering and her eyes were watery. Edward kissed her on the for head, than Bella and they left the room anguished. I crouched down to her eye level and kissed her cheek than the top of her palm. I started to slowly walk out but before I reached the door I heard Nessie call.

"Jake no, stay it's okay and I need you." I breathed a sigh of relief I frankly didn't know how I was supposed to stand on the outside of the door and wait.

"Now Jacob just grab the chair over there and sit near her head she is in pain and frightened and I think that you being her well help her a great deal." He said this in a reassuring voice and I did what I was told and grabbed the chair and sat it beside the bet right near near Nessie's head. I took her hand in mine and started making circles with my thumbs on her hands.

Se was starring at me and I looked her in the eyes "Nessie don't worry I am here." I said this in a soft confident voice she just nodded silent tears streaming down her face crossing with dried blood.

"Ness I am just going to cut you shirt so I can take a better look at you back and see if we need to get you some scans. Carlisle began cutting from the side that Nessie was facing up on with some sort of surgical scissors. Her shirt was blood and dirt stained.

When Carlisle had cut her shirt and bra off he gave Nessie a blanket to cover her front not that I was looking there at all my eyes were on her eyes only as I watched her little quivers and face crunching. Carlisle started lightly touching her back and she let out little gasps of pain. Out the corner of my eyes I could she little splotches of blue, black and purple creeping over the side of her stomach. I was worried, but I knew Nessie had one of the best doctors possible.

"I appears that she has a compressed spinal cord which is good news and bad news. It means that with a minor procedure I can relieve the spine and allow her nerve senses to function normal again."

"Well ,what is the procedure ?" I asked not leaving Nessie's eyes a little more less worried.

"That's the bad part, I have to inject a needle into her spine, which has a chemical formulated to release the pressure." Nessie's eyes were terrified, she didn't fully comprehend what needed to be done in her state but she understood enough.

"Can you put her to sleep during the procedure? " I asked hoping for Nessie's sake hat he could.

"Unfortunately I can't, for two reasons I need Nessie to be able to tell me when she is able to feel her lower body so I know it has been inserted properly and also I believe she has a concussion and I don't want her to damage that further. I have to act quickly so no permanent damage can occur."

"Oh... well don't worry Nessie I will be right her for you the whole time." I tried to hush her but she looked more terrified every minute. Carlisle came right beside me to speak to Nessie.

"I am going to go get the equipment Nessie, don't worry it will all be over really soon I promise." After saying those last reassuring words Carlisle went to retrieve the equipment.

"J...acob promise you with be here the whole way through promise because I am so scared and I just need you beside me... please." Although Nessie said this in a whisper she managed to pull the tiniest smile.

"I will, I couldn't leave you and besides it will be over before you know it!" I forced a smile.

Carlisle came in with a tray with a needle and bottle of I guess what was going to help Ness. Carlisle began to set up and I just turned to face Nessie.

"Now Nessie I am just going to clean your head up and sterilize you back I will tell you when I will begin." Carlisle sounded very calm and professional and I was glad after he cleaned up Nessie's head wound and swabbed her back with betadine he took the blanket from her front and layed surgical sheets everywhere but where he was going to make the incision so I could only see Nessie's head and neck.

"Okay Renesmee just keep as still as possible and it will be over before you know it." Carlisle began to fill the needle but I knew that now, the most important thing is my Ness. Carlisle began to inset the needle.

"Aahhhahhh...Ahhhhhh...ahhh...aaaaahhhh." Nessie was hysterical I had never seen a person in so much pain. "Jacob.. MAKE IT STOP! AHHHH." she was beginning to move her hands.

"Jacob! I need you to hold her down. If she keeps moving I will have to take it out and I haven't got to her spinal cord she needs to be still!." I stood up and held her arms and shoulder while she was screaming and crying and shrieking it was all getting to be to much

but I had to do what was best for her and right now Carlisle knew what that was.

I knew it was successful the moment she started thrashing her legs and Carlisle took the needle out, Nessie let out one last scream before I let her go and went to her face which was a beautiful wreck she looked absolutely exhausted and hurt she still had silent tears and her leaps were quivering but I am sure that it worked. She couldn't speak yet and Carlisle was covering her back.

"You are the most amazing girl I have ever met." I told her and and it was the absolute truth. I knew that there was a lot to come and a lot to sort out. We still had a lot of talking but in this moment the little smile she gave me reassurance that it was going to be alright... I hoped.

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If you are reading this now** please** review. I does mean a lot and it inspires me **:)**. I hope you like this chapter. If you have any question or ideas for the next capter please tell me!

**Thank-you so much for you amazing support :) I **


	6. Chapter 6

_Is it getting better, or do you feel the same, will it make it easier on you now, you've got someone to blame. -One_

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Nessie POV**

"You are the most amazing girl I have ever met." Jake told me and I felt my heart flutter I wanted to spit it out, that I loved him, that I wanted to be with him but I couldn't I knew that I didn't deserve the man in front of me and I could never be with him. I said this and my eyes began to droop and sleep took me.

I woke up drowsy, in my own bed to the rough sound of Jacob snoring. I slowly came to the realization that Jacob was actually in my bed and his hand was over mine. He was on his back and I was on my stomach. My back seemed stiff but surprisingly better than the excruciating pain of yesterday.

Suddenly and unexpectedly I had a vision, it was of me attacking TJ and then being struck in the back by one of his two sidekicks as I frequently had called them and I felt like a monster, like a full blooded vampire. Indestructible. Then I got a blow to the head by the second boy and the whole memory came back to me. What had I done?

I let out a little yelp and then regretted it because Jacob's eyes flew open in was wide awake and he looked at me questioningly and I had nothing to lose so I showed him everything that happened, using my special gift, I didn't know how he could keep a straight face through all of this. I mean I was a monster even if the boys I killed where vile scums. I still didn't know I was capable of such a thing. This only brought back the memory of the rape I thought this very hesitantly because I still had emotions lingering there like guilt, blame and unworthiness. I just felt so... dirty.

"That's what they did to you Ness? They hurt you that bad? I wish they were still alive so that I could kill them with my own hands." Jacob growled, I still had my hand in his, showing him what I thought. I didn't answer him though I guessed they were rhetorical questions. Jacob calmed himself right down. we were still on the bed though both siting on the side I had my legs crossed but Jacobs were sprawled over the side. His face turned from anger to concern.

"Ness, how are you coping with everything? I mean I know now that they are dead but I know you and well..." He drifted off and I knew how to answer him which was unusual because normally I would be stuck for words but before I could he started speaking again this time he looked a but nervous which caught my attention.

"Look Ness, please, please don't get angry at me but... I told your family about you being raped... and I am sorry that I didn't tell you earlier it was just that well then the TJ thing happened and... well I just I needed to tell someone and you were gone and... I am sorry... so sorry. Jacob was speaking really fast and he was so worried about my reaction but as I took my time to process the fact that my whole family new my emotions flared. Jacob could feel all I was feeling as his toasty hand was still in mine. At first I felt betrayed and that angry, I was totally and utterly grieving and then finally I fell relieved and Jacob sighed a big breathe of relief too.

"Thank-you Jake... you told them what I never could do. You truly are the best friend in the whole wide world. We were standing up now, in a large embrace and my head was on Jacobs chest and I could feel his heart, it was going faster the usual but I guess that was because he had to fess up to me. I was a little put back by the term friend but as I have countlessly told my self the reasons why it couldn't be something more I just couldn't which again made a stream of sadness consume me. I heard Jacob make a polite cough and realized that I was still touching Jacob allowing my critical thinking to spill right throughout to Jacob. I quickly jumped away, flushing brought red and gathered my thoughts.

"I think a talk with my family is well over due but, you will come with me right?" I asked this truly curious of what his answer would be because of what happened.

"I will always be there Ness you know that." I did it was true I don't remember an important part of my childhood when he wasn't there. Jacob took my hand and I lead him downstairs to the dinning room.

"Everyone, I would really appreciate it if we could talk." No one was in the dinning room of course but I knew they would all here me and before I knew it they were all sitting in there usually spots all contently giving me there undivided concentration. jake and I took a seats at the head of the table.

"Renesmee how is you back are you having any trouble with pain or movement? Carlisle asked in a very professional way though everyone gave him forceful looks. "We can speech about it later, if there are any major problems than be sure to tell me immediately but just make sure you come seem me later on today." Carlisle lapsed back into silence and once again gave me his concentration I just nodded at him.

"So I am sure that Jake has told you the main details" I started slowly taking deep breaths. "But I am going to show you the rest... if you don't mind." I found out that, with my talent as long as everybody was touching I could show them all my vision, So just lightly every body was touching. I showed them everything, I didn't want to hold back anything because that had done me no good. I started by showing them the night I got raped, to telling Jake, to when I got beaten and kidnapped to killing the three boys. My eyes where closed through this I didn't really want to see there reactions. I finished up and opened my eyes but no one said a word. So I waited...

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Jacob's POV**

I looked at my watch in the silence. No one was saying a word. I just grasped Nessie's hand a little tighter. Telling them must of been a bit hard on her and I guess her family was just taking it in like she had taken months to do.

"I am sorry everyone and Ness but I have missed all of my patrols lately but I promised that I would got tonight and from now on." I stood up and so did Ness I am braced and and whispered in her ear. "I will be back as soon as I can, promise." I than gave her a little peck on the cheek and walked out of the door.

I jogged towards the woods, slowly speeding up, I quickly took of my shorts and phased. Quil was the only one who was phased.

"_Hey Jake, I haven't seen you in a while, Sorry I can't talk I really have to go and you late. I have baby sitting duddies, Claire just got back from holidays and I really need to see her, so cya Jake!" _Quil said this in a rush not being able to cotton on to my thoughts which I was glad of I didn't really feel like explaining today. I was supposed to be running patrol for the rest of the day and all night because I had neglected it and I felt guilty about Leah taking all my shifts so I took her though she barely let me. I was glad she understood and I knew I ought to have a talk to her, after all she was the closest thing to a human girl that I knew and I thought she could give me some advise about talking to Ness, but right now I just wanted to think of nothing. To have a break. Go wolf.

I did this for a couple of hours but I could only do it for so long. I began to think of when Ness had last showed me her thoughts, not with her family but when she had showed me everything, she wanted to be more then friends but couldn't? I was very curious about this. I did feel guilty about listening to Ness's thought's even if it was by accident, which is why I stopped her but, still the small insight into Nessie's mind worried me.

I was caught in my thoughts running in circles, when suddenly I saw movement in the woods these woods looked familiar even though I couldn't put my finger on it. I followed the movement it seemed to fast to be any average animal and didn't make any distinct sounds I though it could be a vampire, so I chased after it reaching my full speed capacity I followed the smell, but it was nothing like a vampire's smell it was worse, it was so vile .

I caught up to the creature and it turned to face me. I was shocked! It was TJ, well part of TJ .This creature was black as pitch with green glowing eyes. He hissed at me I recognized the mouth, nose and jaw shape as TJ's I had only seen him in Nessie's distinct mental images but it was him alright, well a demon form of him I guessed as I thought that Ness had killed him he speed off. He was faster than me and I knew where he was heading. To Nessie.

I ran full speed my muscles burning, I had to stop him, what possibly could he be. How could he still be allowed. But the most worrying question of all, what was he going to do to Nessie? My emotions fueled me. I hoped that the Cullen family would know if something was attacking Nessie, I hoped they haven't gone out to hunt because I knew that what ever TJ had become, I could not take him on alone and I doubt that if only one of the Cullen's had stayed to watch Nessie, that they could take on The demon, animal that was TJ.

I arrived at the house and could smell the demon vile smell everywhere I climbed up to Nessie's window and into the room. His smell was all over the room and from what I could here the family was in the lounge room discussing many things relating to Nessie but I was to focused on Nessie herself sound asleep in her bed safe I took a big breathe in and out relieved and I could hear Edward and Bella coming upstairs they could hear me and were probably wondering what I was doing in Nessie's room. As soon as they entered I explained what I had saw and all about TJ they called all the Cullen's upstairs and and we discussed everything just outside Nessie's room.

We all had a long conversation, I new that TJ was long gone as Edward had sent Emmett and Jasper to evaluate the area. We decided that with what ever TJ was roaming around Portland there would always be a Vampire and Werewolf patrolling.

The Cullen's went off to to there and thing and advised that I phase to update my pack on what is happening I told Embry everything he needed to know and he said he would pass it on to Sam's pack. I got back to Ness as soon as I could she was still sleeping and with the stress of the day I laid next to Ness under the covers of her large bed and felt though stressed with the new found monster and threat to Nessie at ease with being next to her something that I could get very used too. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to tell Ness that I was in love with her, and that she was worth it. I just had to figure out how to tell and show her...

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Hey guys, so I hope you like this chapter! I know it is a bit rough but I didn't have a lot of time to do it but please tell me what you think and **review please!**

**Also I am thinking of co-writing the next chapter in preperation for a new story I want to start but to be co-written, don't worry I will keep updating this story.**

**So if you have got some good ideas for the next chapter and would like to co-write the next chapter please just message me or write it in a review and I will contact you. I don't care how old you are, what gender you are or where your from as long as you have some good ideas for this story I would be exited to write the next chapter with you!**

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